Bringing back the codpiece

I took a glamorous mini break recently to the bustling provincial town of Makeni. Fashion wise I wasn’t expecting much from this ‘poor cousin’ of Freetown, BIG MISTAKE.


Ice cream seller ‘Azonto Ice’ blew my snobby preconceptions out of the water when he strolled past. This avante garde vision in layered lycra looks like he just stumbled out of an Andy Warhol-hosted soiree. The sexy Santa themed leotard, policeman’s hat, short tie and hipster glasses make for an explosive ensemble – but my eye balls were immediately drawn to the elegant black pouch strapped to Azzie’s groin – a CODPIECE. Oh please can this be the start of a revival. The ever-functional codpiece has been around since the 16th century, made a brief comeback through the heavy metal fashions of the 80s and 90s, but nothing since then. I say get out there and buy one today before Stella McCartney teams up with Goop to do a vegan/organic/bespoke/limited edition capsule range. Before long Primark will be on the bandwagon and it will be dead in the fashion dustbin. Don’t delay, strap on a codpiece today.

This tie has not broken a world record

Geoff was spotted at the Toowoon Bay Holiday Park on Australia Day embracing the national costume which traditionally includes boardies, rubber thongs and a simple cap with an elegantly positioned pair of shades. His 100% Aussie tie will not be joining the record-holding ranks of those worn by Nicholas, Launcelot, Samuel Koroma or Foday Evans, however this paired-back ensemble is surely one of the most stylish national costumes in the world.